Im bloody 18-_-

Reflecting on it, i realise i've spent much of my past 18 years idling around. I havent done anything REALLY meaningful. I don't have any major achievements, besides winning the Newpaper Cyber Challenge thing with Elton. I don't have good grades. I don't have a clear future path in mind. What the hell have i been doing?

But then again, i HAVE lived 18 years. Laughing and crying, loving and hating. Memories treasured, memories better forgotten. I guess its all part of 'Growing Up'? I don't feel wiser though.

Didn't exactly have a memorable birthday (Besides the birthday chicken hahaha), but thanks to all those who wished me happy birthday :)

Anyway, for you if you're from the soccer team... (or not)

~Extract from Coach's website~

THE END OF OUR JOURNEY
The adventure finally ended in a 0-2 defeat to CJC. Ironically, it was one the best attacking performance which saw the boys applying persistent sustained pressure on the opponents. It was the same old story of not applying the finishing touch, failing to convert numerous chances to equalise, that allowed our rivals to counter attack and scored the decisive goal.
The match against VJC was huge as having an advantage in the goal difference would improve our chances of qualifying.Although it would have been out of our hands, after we drew in the last 2 games in the lead up to this one. Despite having no opportunity to practice, the boys braved the odds to reduced the highly anticipated thrashing to a 0-5 scoreline (cjc lost 0-8,tjc lost 0-7,acs (i) 0-16). This suggested that we would have the best goal difference should the rest of the other teams tied. The boys showed discipline, resillence and lots of heart to follow tactical instructions. Any criticism to our approach and play outside our team is probably borne out of frustration and lack of understanding. NO PROPER TEAM would like to be on the end of a hiding, and given the limited pool of talent, resources, & training, should put out the most effective display to qualify.
The old but feared habit of complacency set in and a woeful lack of finishing cost us our confidence and eventually qualification hopes. Oddly, there was a loss in concentration, speed and tempo in our game. You need to score goals to win games, andwe didnt. I must say that the opponents, ACS (I) took the game to us early on by reacting to the ball better, faster. Physically, the players were not prepared to fight tooth and nail to win the ball. Final score 0-0
An extremely encouraging display of attacking football and good defending in TJC game that finally ended in a 1-1 draw. With better luck, we should have wrapped up the game. Lack of experience and lady luck cost us an equalising penalty that should not have been. It would have been the only goal of our tournament, scored by Captain Yong Seng and he would be the top scorer (2) for DHS in its short soccer history. The other scorers are Ziren (1st ever), Keng Hoe (Winning goal in our first and only victory to date) and Yuhding (1st ever penalty scored)
Harder training awaits…. Summary on individual player coming up.

~End~

Reading this brought back the flush of feelings from the tournament. It just ended 2(3?) weeks ago, but it feels like a year. Beginning to miss training alr :/

Feel like im drifting apart from so many of my friends. Can't do anything but feel the despair of helplessness, cause i don't know how to turn it around.

Shall drown the world out with Alesana woohoo

Our soccer A division tournament has ended, and the year 6s are officially out of the CCA Soccer. Our results stand at 2 draws and 2 losses, with 1 goal scored (BY YONGSENG!!!!) and 8 goals conceded and 2 points. Although people may say that "good job, u guys did ur best, and even outdid urselves last year!" and i may nod and say yeah, i agree. But somehow there's this heavy feeling of disappointment that i feel. On the whole, and i know everyone who has seen us play will agree that we can definitely have done better. The first few matches, although they were the ones we got our points, was quite disappointing. Against VJC where we lost 5-0 and were criticised for our boring football, we worked hard together and did quite well, only to be undone by errors. But i guess the match that im really proud of is the final one, against CJC. Even though we lost 2-0, i felt really really proud of the team. Every single individual gave their all, fighting for the pride of the team, the name of the school. If only we had played like this every game, we definitely would have gotten the results we wanted. But there's a saying that goes... "When u start saying 'if only.. if only...', u know u screwed up". And it's true. But whats in the past is over.

Even though i only got to play for an hour over the course of the tournament, being called on to play against VJ and being on the field with the title "Captain" is what i've always dreamt of, even though i feel i don't exactly deserve it. In other cases, one might feel disappointed at the lack of playing time, but to be honest even if i hadnt gotten to play or hadnt even made it into the final selection, i would have felt happy just to see the team playing well and getting results. Of course, there were times where i was frustrated that i couldnt help the team and really wanted to get on the pitch. But of course, in life u can't always get what u want. Thats why i just screamed my head off to cheer for the guys lol.

I have high hopes for my dear juniors in Soccer. We may not have been the best examples or nicest seniors to have, but im really proud of ALL of u guys to have put in so much effort in every training, every game. Keep at it, u guys are gonna be top players in the future :) Continue the legacy of DHS soccer! As to the guys in year 6, you guys have been great this two years we've been in soccer. All the memories from each training and outing that i've been too, im sure they're going to last me for a lifetime.

And after thinking through all of these memories, i really feel that every drop of blood, sweat and tears HAS been worth it. That said, i feel like there's an emptiness in me now that i'm no longer in soccer. The only thing that kept me motivated and to come to school, especially on tuesdays and thursdays are now gone. Of course we can still play together, but it just won't feel the same suffering the medicine ball training together and looking like idiots running and shouting. But i'm glad i went to every single training and match i could, and i really love the team. Team, including coach, Mr. Siva and Mr Tiah. I'm grateful to coach for showing faith in me, even though i never became the player he wanted me to become. Although he scolded us many times, he had our best interests in heart, and he had high expectations of us. As for Mr Siva and Mr Tiah, they were as much a part of the team as each and every one of us. Whenever they could, they would come down to supervise training, to support the team. Without them, none of this could have been possible. To be honest, they are the best teachers-in-charge to have ever. And i really appreciate them as well.

And lastly, i want to thank all the great supporters who came down to cheer for us. You guys made a huge difference, even if you couldn't tell. Just seeing you guys there made every one of us inspired to work even harder and do better. Also, to every single of one of you who wished the us good luck for each match, thanks so much!

My xbox that i've left in my locker for many days now is going to be kept soon :( Shall have to play as much as i can, while i still can hahaha. Pingteck is really getting much better at it, as is everyone else who has been playing FIFA with me. I really need to work hard to improve at it too! OKOKOKOK i know, instead of working hard to improve on a game, i should be focusing on my studies! But FIFA is really one of my life's passions. So i guess i'll work hard on both lol

Watched the match between Real Madrid and Barcelona this morning. to say the truth, Real never looked like beating, or seriously threatening the barcelona goal during the match. Messi is really in the form of his life, he, xavi and iniesta carved Real's defence apart time and again. Now real's going to have a hard time catching up :/ United are also havng trouble, out of the Champions league, and now 2 points behind Chelsea. Im hoping for the best, and that even if they don't win this season, that they win all of the remaining matches.

Anyone ever had the feeling that there's this door u want to go through, that you can't move at all, but it opens only when it wants to, and even then only by a small crack so that u have to squint bloody hard and peep inside to know whats behind that door? And when u finally seem to see something, the door swings and hits u right in the face, and before u can get up and realise whats happening, the door's closed again. Sucks, doesnt it? But i guess all it does is make u want to try harder to see whats inside, even if deep in your heart you know it'll always be futile. I'll just keep going, trying my best to look inside through that small opening :D